#ZFWSeries I: Douche’s guide to being a Chick-Magnet at ZFW by @armmaposa


Ok so you’re a bit full of yourself and reading a fashion blog to get chicks? No? But then again you are reading  this, you might suffer from JOHNNY BRAVO disease :O ! OK..so seems we got you!

WELCOME To the Village of Beautiful* Women ( Zim Fashion Week)

johnny
Zimbabwe Fashion Week a village of hot chicks

So ZFW is upon us once again (21 Days from this post) and as with any fashion event many fashionistas as well as those looking to score a RICH classy** guy (same thing really), the latter misinterpret it to be a place to dress skimpily and reveal as much flesh as they can.

Now if you happen to be this supposedly classy guy then what are you doing at a fashion show? But anyway just flash your fake Rolex and let them swarm and you can get some (all you feminists put your stones down, it has worked since time immemorial and to this day it still works…sigh yes even on you who label yourselves as feminists). But like Johnny Bravo has shown, it doesn’t go according to plan, so keep reading.

Johnny_Bravo_The_Sensitive_Male_Preview_104284145_thumbnail
EPIC FAIL! Johnny Bravo failing to impress by flashing his sexy body

Temporary un-Douche-fication (Fake it!)

Exactly how does the weirdo get the babe and the hottie get an F-you sign??

Little dude gets the girl? how?
Little dude gets the girl? how?

Firstly, and this is most important, have “fake” friends in media and get the scoop of when the press conference is. Borrow your fake friends camera and be a “Photographer” get recognised as part of your friend’s media firm.

Be a Con, Fraudsters get FAR!
Be a Con, Fraudsters get FAR!

Ok, so you followed step 1 and got accredited, now you need to learn the photographer terms to throw in, so you don’t blow your cover! You know like Lens, DSLR, Aperture, Shutter….. hmm anything goes.

Now you get to ZFW and you have your tag, wear it proudly. It’s all in the tag. You can go ahead and take pictures of scantily dressed women with your camera, more willing to be taken pics, get the sexiest poses you can get. Give them your business card (Fake one) about how they can get their photos (They ain’t getting them) and. You can even “hook up” some with your very powerful TAG.

After taking pics take her to the place where only people with the POWERFUL Tag can have access, (Those bouncers are really dwas just flab). Take a few pics of VIP (Very Insignificant People), greet them by name (From their public profiles) And hopefully that happens before possibly getting caught that you are a con. (Trust me they will figure out in a year.. after you blog bragging about it.. BOOHAHAHAHAHA 😀 )

And That’s how a Joe Doe can get a Hoe (Ooooh.. harsh). TAKING THIS ADVICE COULD HAVE LEGAL IMPLICATIONS. (But who cares when you become a chick magnet!)

By Andile Maposa (Edited by ROB)

Disclaimer:

*Not all women are created the same.

**Classy guys? Yeah right not at a fashion show.

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